There are many idiomatic expressions that involve water: in deep waters, head above water, in hot water, blown out of the water, like a fish out of water, a flood of emotions, sunken into the depths of despair, and drowning in sorrows.
Emotional and physical distress are aspects of life, intrinsic to the human condition. No matter how good someone may seem to have it, they too will bear their trials and tribulations.
Aren’t the people in our lives what matter most? Without them, what are we? Lonely, miserable, and isolated. They are both impactful and effectual on our inner world. They shape the quality, mood, and condition of our surroundings and reflect the essence we extend or project. Shouldn’t we regard and nurture them as we do ourselves?
For the Lakota, caring for them IS caring for self. Must not we do what is possible to enhance their lives? Are we not the gardeners and caretakers of our duration?
When we lose patience, become aggressive, or angry; we get hard. Like water, people don’t respond well to this. When we tell people what they should do, try to control them, or are forceful and overbearing, aren’t we being hard on them? Aren’t we pushing them away, often inducing the opposite outcome we intended?
Why is being gentle so difficult? Why is tenderness looked upon as a feminine trait when it takes so much courage to be vulnerable and exposed? What is behind the hardness? Is it anger, disappointment, sadness, regret, fear?
Why do we want to crawl up into a ball and disappear when we are upset? …or, retreat into our caves? Why do we punish ourselves even further with separation and isolation?
The next time your wife, husband, child, parent, friend, partner, or co-worker is distressed, angry, distraught, hurt; give them a little space. Be kind. Make them some tea. Make them a sandwich. Listen. They are the most valuable treasure in your life.
The next time YOU feel these things; be fair to yourself. Take note of your thoughts. Think back when you were eight years old. See that cute face, that sweet little person. Be kind and generous to him or her. That is still YOU! That is still your spirit, your heart, your soul. You may think that you’ve changed so much since then, but you really haven’t. That’s still you. Put your arm around that precious child and take a nice walk.
There’s a Tin Pan Alley song by Jimmy Campbell, Reg Connelly, and Harry M. Woods that says it all. It was made famous by the Ray Noble Orchestra, Bing Crosby, Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, and Otis Redding. That’s right, it’s called, “Try a Little Tenderness.”
It takes a strong person to touch someone with softness, try a little tenderness…be gentle. Cherish the ones you love.
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